WHAT I WISH YOU KNEW ABOUT MEDITATION

(FROM SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS SAID “IT’S NOT FOR ME”)

Let me guess: you’ve tried, but meditation is not for you.

You’ve heard about all the great benefits of meditation - reduced stress, lower blood pressure, increased attention span, improved memory -

You want the calm and the focus but your mind is too busy, and sitting still doesn’t feel accessible.

This is what I was saying a couple years ago.

And you know what else was going on?

I was overwhelmed, overstimulated, overworked, and overtired, all the time. And I thought I needed my life to be easier, not harder (“I don’t have time to try to meditate!”)

And now, I feel less overwhelmed and more in control than ever before, and if I skip my 10 minute morning meditation, I truly miss it.

To be clear, I’m referring to seated stillness meditation. There are lots of moving meditations which we can talk about another time (try this video on the Practice With Bren Youtube Channel) but in this case I’m talking about challenging oneself to sit quietly for a time. Sometimes I call this ‘having a sit.’

If you're feeling overwhelmed and can't quiet your mind, and have said that meditation just doesn't work for you, I have 3 important tips to share that finally helped me access the benefits of meditation that I thought I couldn't reach. If you're struggling to fall asleep, crying at work, and feeling overstimulated all the time, I've got you. These tips are designed for sensitive women who want to learn how to feel in control of their emotions.

Here’s what I wish I knew about meditation three years ago.

YOU CAN START WITH JUST 3 MINUTES

If you are used to lots of activity and noise, 3 minutes of inward focus can feel like a long time. Don’t expect to be great at something you have no practice with. There’s no rule that meditation must be done in 1-hour increments. Start with 3 minutes.

I started with 5 minutes, then 7 minutes for a couple months, then 8 minutes for a month, and now I’ve been doing 10 minutes for a while. To be honest I should probably challenge myself to increase my sit time to 12 minutes! Okay I’ll start that tomorrow!

DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR HAVING THOUGHTS

Thoughts will happen! That’s what the mind does best. For most of us, meditation is not staying in a thoughtless place, it’s coming back from distraction, over and over again. This is the practice. Practice building your focus muscle by coming back again and again.

There is no unsuccessful meditation - the only way to unsuccessfully meditate is to not do it. Sometimes I am thinking the whole entire time and that’s okay, some days are like that. Great job for showing up.

IT’S WAY EASIER TO NOT MEDITATE. BUT DO IT ANYWAY

It depends how you look at it, really. At the moment you have to choose whether to stop scrolling or sit quietly, it would be easier not to meditate. For sure! This takes effort. But in the bigger picture, being overwhelmed on a daily basis and not being able to focus at work may be harder than sitting still for 5 minutes/day. What do you think?

I find that the times when it’s hardest for me to sit still and quiet are the times when I need that stillness and quiet the most.

Practice flexing your meditation muscle and it will get stronger!

My biggest advice is to just do it. It will be a little uncomfortable, and it’s worth it. Set a 3 minute timer on your phone (then put your phone down!) and start right now. Why not?

If you're having a hard time getting started, try a guided meditation. Here's a playlist of short guided meditations on the Practice With Bren Youtube channel.

Speaking of learning to meditate,

Behind the scenes right now I'm creating a month-long program that will bring you from 'cannot, will not sit still' to comfortable and confident in daily self-led 10 minute meditations. The working title is The Zero to Meditator Program.

If you want to stay in the loop about that, you can ​sign up for the waitlist here​. (This just means you'll be the first to hear about it when it opens, and get a special waitlist discount if you decide to sign up.)

Here's the link to a Youtube video where I talk this out.